Golden Boy Catches a Dinosaur

Thomas loves dinosaurs. Our entire house is infested with them. They hide in coloring books, toy bins and under beds. They are fought over, fought with and fought through. Liz and I are required to “feed” them and tuck them in at night in their “beds.” Dinosaurs and all their crazy names, behaviors and diets are now daily conversation items in our family.

I’d like to say that this infestation is mostly confined to Thomas’ room, but that would be a lie. Even so, his room is still a haven. They adorn his bed spread and rug, and some hide in his closet while others sleep with him in bed. There are even some on his wall.

The dinosaurs on Thomas’ bedroom wall are of the glow-in-the-dark variety. So yes, while your kids sleep under glow-in-the-dark stars, Thomas sleeps with glow-in-the-dark dinos. (He also has stars.) Over time nearly all of these dinosaurs have fallen from their spot on the wall above his dresser. When they fall, they slip down the wall and end up behind the dresser, much to Thomas’ consternation. Twice he has cried out to us in the middle of the night to come rescue a newly fallen dino. Now they graze happily on the top of the dresser. All but one, that is. A single stegosaurus has clung securely to the wall for months since his fellows have fallen.

On Saturday, Thomas remarked about this fact and then asked “when will that dinosaur fall?”

“I don’t know, bud,” I said. “It may take a really long time; it’s been up there so long, I’m not sure that it will ever fall.”

“No,” said Thomas, “I think it’s going to fall soon. But … hey! Daddy! When it falls we need something to catch it so it doesn’t go behind the dresser. What should we use?!”

“Uh ….”

“Oh, I know! I’ll use this dino drawing!” The drawing was a square of card stock with a brachiosaurus printed on it; Thomas had colored it as part of an art project while at day care. He placed the card on top of his dresser and slid it to the wall so that it covered the gap between the dresser and the wall and was directly underneath the stegosaurus.

I figured that card would be moved long before it had a chance to catch that dinosaur. I figured wrong. Sunday night, one night later, as I was getting a pair of socks for Thomas I saw that very same stegosaurus resting on the card. I shook my head in disbelief and said, “dude, Thomas! You’re the dude! Look!”

“Yeah! I was right! I caught him with my dino net!”

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Golden Boy and The Bug

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This photo pretty much captures the two of them and their relationship.

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How to Put a Maddie (Or Any) Badge on Your Facebook Profile

Update, July 25, 2011: It has been brought to my attention that this method no longer works. I do not know of any other solution.

To place a badge (or any custom HTML) on your Facebook Profile page follow the steps below. Note that the badge will appear in the left column, so must be narrow enough to fit in that location.

These steps use a special Facebook application named Profile HTML. There are probably other ways to accomplish this task. This is one way.

1) After logging into Facebook, find the “Applications” button at the bottom left of the page and click on it:

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2) Next click on the “Browse More Applications” link

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3) Search for “Profile HTML”

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4) Click on the “Profile HTML” result:

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5) Click on the “Go To Application” button:

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6) Click “Allow” button:

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7) You will see that the “Profile Box” tab is selected. You want to use this tab. Ignore “Profile Tab”. The text box will be full of the default HTML. Delete all of it.

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8) Copy and paste the HTML into the text box and click the “Submit” button:

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9) Click the “Add to Profile” button:

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10) Click the “Add” button:

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11) Click the “Keep” button:

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12) You’re done. Note that you cannot change the text in the title where it says “Profile HTML”.

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Dearest Caroline

I don’t know how old you will be when you read this, but I am sure that you are by now aware that your mother and I have been taking photographs of you sitting in the same chair every year on your birthday. We do the same for your brother((s) and sister(s)). It’s a great tradition that we hope you appreciate as much as we do.

(If you don’t appreciate it, well you’re still a young woman and I trust that when you are wiser and older you will regret how horribly you treat us. If you’re still angry about that boy, what’s his name, well, he had it coming and you just might as well get over it, because I’m not apologizing.)

What you may not know is that during the first two years of the lives of you and your sibling(s) we tried to take those photographs on a monthly basis. For Thomas, we did pretty well at carrying out this plan. Occasionally we were a day or two late, and we did seriously drop the ball at two years. (That was a rough month: Norovirus for all three of us, your mother pregnant with you, college finals for me, yeah it sucked, so we don’t feel too bad about it.) But by and large it has been a tremendous success.

So it all went well for Golden Boy. Yes, it usually does. It annoys me sometimes too. Why do you think I call him Golden Boy? But we don’t get to choose our siblings. Anyway, this isn’t about him, it’s about you. How did the photographs of your early years go? Well, Bug, the fact of the matter is, it didn’t go so great. We almost never took those damn photographs on the first of the month and we flat out missed months nineteen and twenty-one.

So here goes, right now, right here, I want to tell you sincerely: it wasn’t our fault; it was your fault.

As proof I provide photographic evidence from the most recent set of birthday images.

This is you upon learning that we wanted to take your picture:

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This is you “cooperating”:

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This is me bribing you:

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This is you looking smug:

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This is you looking silly with popcorn in your mouth:

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This is you being gorgeous:

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I rest my case.

Your mother says hello. Give our love to what’s his name. Remind him he still owes me fifty bucks from poker. He can just give it straight to Golden Boy.

I love you, Bug,

Daddy

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Golden Boy Takes a Bullet

On Saturday Liz and I took the kids to San Francisco where we participated in the March of Dimes walk at Fort Mason. We were walking to honor Heather and Mike Spohr as well as the memory of their recently passed daughter, Maddie. The walk was a wonderful experience and we all had a wonderful time. Well, almost everyone.

Caroline is sprouting her canines, was missing a nap, and extremely overstimulated by all of the people, noise and excitement. As a result she spent the entire walk oscillating between extreme happiness and inconsolable crying. By the time the walk and following festivities were over, she was a tired and crabby little Bug.

As I put Caroline into her car seat she made a grab for Thomas’ special blanket. Both Thomas and Caroline have special “blankies” which are identical with the exception of color and age. Like everything else that is his, Caroline covets Thomas’ blanket. Under usual circumstances I like to prevent this sort of co-opting for various reasons, not the least of which is that it reduces conflict. But considering the day Caroline was having up to that point, I ignored it and let her snuggle with Golden Boy’s blankie.

I then moved around to other side of the car and buckled in Thomas as Liz loaded the stroller into the back. Thomas, of course, immediately saw Caroline molesting his blanket.

“Hey!” he shouted.

I was prepared to meet the loud and indignant complaints with a strong show of parental authority, but before doing so I made a simple request, “bud, Bug has a had tough time and she really wants to snuggle with your blankie. Do you think you could let her do it just this once? You can borrow her blankie while she has yours.”

Thomas took Caroline’s blanket into his hand and let it hang down to the floor of the car and looked into his lap. I finished buckling him in. It took me a moment to realize that rather than the angry fit I had expected, Thomas was on the verge of tears.

Aw, crap. Ok, it is his blanket after all. And I am allowing something that is usually not allowed. Plus the Bug is already cranky, I don’t need to upset the other one with crazy inconsistent parental behavior.

So, “hey bud, if it’s going to bother you that much you can have your blankie, you don’t have to let her have it. We’ll find another way to make her happy.”

“N-no,” Thomas whimpered. “Sh-sh-she can have it.”

And there it was, out of nowhere, another genuine Golden Boy moment. Luckily Liz came swooping in just at that moment offering Caroline a trade she could not turn down. So Thomas got his blankie back and Caroline has a new hero.

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She’s a Funny One

The other day my father-in-law spent the night after attending a Giants game with Liz. Since Grandpa was there to distract the kids, Liz let me sleep in until 9:30 at which point Thomas announced that he was going to go upstairs and “give daddy a snuggle.”  So the whole troop marched up stairs and proceeded to pile onto the bed and me.

(Everyone except my father-in-law that is. He and I get along swimmingly, but I don’t think either of us is ready to take it to the next level.)

Of course I knew my lazy morning was over the moment the kids entered the room; I resigned myself to jostling, poking and prodding until they forced me out of bed.

Then Thomas snatched my iPhone off of my nightstand and fired up Kung Fu Panda.  He and Caroline huddled up around the small screen and watched in silence while Liz and I dozed. For an hour. It was like a television commercial: American Family on a Lazy Saturday Morning (brought to you by Apple and Dreamworks).

Once it was all over I remarked to Liz about the miracle we had just experienced.  She smiled looked me in the eye and said, “must be time for another one.”

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Mmm Pi

In honor of pi day, Golden Boy and I baked:

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Torture Device

The beauty of this photo is how long I’ll be able to use it.

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Blue, Ribbed, Heel, Dirty

Last night to Golden Boy:

Fine tonight you win, but if you ever throw a fit over the color of the socks you wear to bed I will be so angry you won’t believe it’s me.

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911

Recently I have been having these terrible thoughts about what would happen to Thomas and Caroline if something were to happen to Liz and/or I that would leave them home alone. Thomas is deeply compassionate and he would make ever effort to take care of his sister and his dead or injured parents. The visions I have of him trying so hard to help his sister while not knowing what he needed to do to get real help give me genuine pain. I can see him getting food for his sister and himself;and using a chair to reach the sink for water. Trying to get Caroline out of her crib. Trying to get her into clean clothes. Trying to wake his mommy or daddy. It make me want to vomit.

I mentioned this to Liz. She looked at me and said very matter of factly, “well maybe you should teach him how to call 911.”

Well, duh.

So I put it on my list of things that never get done. Then I did nothing. I kept having the visions though.

I’d like to say that my lack of action was because I didn’t want to have to describe to Thomas why this was something he needed to learn; that I didn’t want to intrude on his innocence. But that’s a crock of shit. His innocence actaually kind of annoys me. The truth is, I’m lazy.

But then the other day something happened to someone I know that freaked the living shit out of me. It was a nightmare come true for this person. Luckily most parts of it were temporary. The worst parts at least.

So now I’m doing something about it. Yesterday I purchased a children’s book that teaches kids how to call 911. It arrives on Friday.

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