When we started looking for a daycare for Thomas way back in early 2005 we had had no idea what we were doing. Due to the fact that most of our friends are late bloomers, or out-of-towners, references were hard to come by. In fact in our hunt for a daycare provider we received just a single reference from a co-worker of Liz’s. She mentioned that the her daughter’s daycare had an opening and she highly recommended it.
So with our one reference Liz and I trudged off to see what there was to see. It was an in-home daycare operated by a woman named Nina. While I wandered around the place trying to figure out what questions I should ask and what dangerous things I should be looking for, Liz was busy falling in love. She loved the homey quality, the promise of elaborately cooked lunches (and breakfasts!) and the big back yard.
As for Nina, well, she seemed perfectly nice. Short in physical stature but very clearly in charge of her “clients” along with her two older children. She kept the daycare intentionally under enrolled. She was very informed about all the things we might wonder about. Everything seemed perfectly nice.
When we walked away Liz’s mind was made up that this was the place to go. Me? Well, I was undecided. Everything seemed quite nice. But really, how do you know? I mean this was the woman we were going to entrust with the care of our child. How do we know she’ll help guide him to our high standards? But given that I had no idea how to answer any of those questions, I acquiesced. We placed Thomas in Nina’s charge. I hoped for the best.
Well, it’s been four years now. And just yesterday Thomas called me “Nina”. For about the billionth time. Often when he’s super excited he becomes a bit flustered with his word selection (there are so many rattling around in that noggin) and flings them out until he hits the right one. “Nina, I mean Mommy, I mean Daddy ….” When he does it with our “names” it’s always those three. Interchangeable. In the very truest sense, Nina is a third parent to Thomas. Sometimes I joke that I’m his third favorite. Sometimes I think it’s not really a joke.
In the past four years we’ve been to parties at Nina’s house, we’ve watched her son play in his high school football games. We even attended her mother’s funeral. Thomas has gone to the movies with Nina, to museums on the other side of the bay. I can’t imagine Thomas’ first four years without Nina. Without a doubt she has been the most important adult in his life outside of Liz and I. She has been nothing but perfect in that role.
But today it comes to an end. Today Thomas will take the trip to daycare for the last time. Today is his last day at Nina’s. He’s growing up and it’s time for him to move on to pre-school. And I can’t help but feel sad and ever so thankful.

13 Comments
Your so lucky to have found someone like that. In exactly a month the boys will be being watched on a regular basis for the first time by someone other than family. I am nervous, even though their sitter is someone I have known for 10 years. I can only hope it works out as well as Nina did for Thomas.
Good Luck in pre-school Thomas!
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it’s a hard transition when you’re glad they’re done with that phase but omg they’re moving to a NEW phase!
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Lucky all of us for Nina. Thank you.
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*Sigh* I keep thinking, “Last Nina day….” over and over. I love who he is and I don’t for a minute forget what a major part of that comes from her. I know how lucky we were to find her. Makes me want to have a third just to keep Nina in our daily lives as long as possible. Haha! Also, on a funnier note, I keep thinking of the Friends episode where Chandler and Monica move in together… “The end of an ERA!”
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It’s hard to find good child care, but when you do you just KNOW it. I’m sure Thomas will always have a place in Nina’s heart the way she will always be in his (and yours & Liz’s).
Good luck in pre-school Thomas, what a great new adventure.
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So great that you found someone so perfect for Thomas. And even greater that you recognize the role she’s played and appreciate her so fully.
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In this world of flaky child care providers, it’s so nice to hear that your family was able to find a caring person to watch over your son. With such a stable foundation from you, Liz, and Nina…your son will do fabulously in preschool.
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Awww. Sweet little Thomas. We had a Nina, but her name was Leslie. Just think what a great start she has helped give him, so that he can go on to do even bigger and better things in preschool and beyond. Thomas and Nina are both lucky. :)
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Ben, I adore you. In fact, I’m going to make you my follow Friday blogger…seeing how this is post what four this month? Well that and I love your writing. ;) But if you don’t stop making me cry, I’m going to throw a shoe at you.
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It’s so refreshing to read a post about a good daycare provider out there. Sometimes we have to wonder if they really exist. How lucky you guys were to find her. And how lucky for her that you appreciate that fact so much
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Does Caroline go to Nina, also?
And, you know, once they are a part of the family, they stay that way. She is going to miss Thomas just as much as he misses her! So keep her in the loop. She’ll be attending his high school graduation, I just know it.
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Wow, that is incredible. It must be incredibly reassuring for you to have someone you can trust with the most important people in your lives. My wife and I didn’t have anything like that available – at least to our knowledge and research – which is part of the reason why we decided it would be best for me to stay home with our son.
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We truly owe so much — SO much – to our daycare providers, whomever they may be.
I hope that he handles the transition well, I’m sure that Nina – and you, of course – have prepared him for it… but it can be hard no matter what. Good luck and good luck to Thomas in preschool!
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