My favorite episode of the television show Battlestar Galactica (2005-2009) is “33″. It’s first episode of the series, picking up where the initial mini-series left off. In that mini-series humanity was nearly annihilated by evil intelligent robots called Cylons. The only known survivors escape on a flotilla of mismatched space ships, escorted by an old war ship, the Battlestar Galactica.
In 33 the remnants of humanity are on the run, pursued by the Cylons. The humans attempt to escape by “hyper jumping” to random locations in space. Yet every 33 minutes the Cylons are able to find them and continue the fight. Over time the humans begin to tire while the Cylons remain relentless. Due to their fatigue, the humans begin to make mistakes. Some turn on each other; some lose grip of their sanity; some just give up altogether.
This is exactly like parenting. We desperately cling to our sanity while fending off our tireless tormentors. (You might be more familiar with the term “children”.) When the episode first aired in January of 2005, I had been a father for a little over a month. The truth is I had it easy back then. Don’t get me wrong, I was tired. Thomas had the typical newborn schedule; the one designed to make it impossible for parents to sleep.
I was always awake when Liz fed Thomas. Sometimes I had to rub Thomas’ feet, which he hated, so that he would stay awake enough to eat. So yes it was hard, but Liz was on maternity leave, and I was on winter break from school. (I was a full time student then.) We slept when he slept. We swapped tasks so that we could each take an extended nap. Some nights I would skip a feeding. Other nights I would give Thomas a bottle, so that Liz could skip a feeding. It was a luxurious time.
By the time Caroline came along in July of 2007, things were much different. I was out of school and had just started a new job, so I was unable to stay home and help Liz. Thomas was an exceptionally high maintenance toddler who really missed his mommy; he required much of my attention when I was home. And Caroline … Caroline, (oh sweet girl, I love you) she was beautiful when she slept but when she was awake she seemed barely human. She was an snarling beast with an insatiable hunger, like a baby vampire. We loved her, but she was a hard baby to like.
All of that added up to a lot of stress. Stress that stuck around into June of 2008. Stress that we exacerbated by buying a house, in a plummeting economy, in July. Stress that soared as medical scares popped up just as I was changing jobs last October. Stress that was fed at its core by two beautiful, but ever demanding children. Children who never give us quarter. Children who never let us rest. (”Play with me”, “Up?”, “Be with me while I poop.”, “Haz dat dadee.”)
It’s been exhausting. And like those humans running from the Cylons, I have made many mistakes over the past year. I have snapped at Liz or Thomas. I have questioned my sanity (what sanity?) and there have been plenty of times that I just wanted to give up. All of which sounds dour or dire. It’s neither really; it’s just normal.
I know that not every year will be as stressful as this last year. I know that we, just like those fictional humans, will have moments of long respite. But not just yet.
Today I am 33 years old, and I know what I want for my birthday. I want a Third, an Ender to go with our Peter and Valentine. I want another baby
17 Comments
:) awww…. wow! happy birthday old man.
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Happy Birthday man! You remind me of a 16 year old who is asking for the sports car of his dreams. LOL ;-) Anyways my wife and I have 5 kids and we were not planning on that many, but we were not really NOT planing on that many either. I grew up with 2 other brothers and there was always an odd man out. I was always afraid of that more that 2 could create the odd man out scenario that my brothers and I found ourselves in.
But really (even with all 5) we have not found our kids in that scenario, we have found out, it’s all in how you raise them. Anyways – I hope you and your wife can appreciate that.
FreakinOld.com – which will point to your site until someone else asks me to call their brother old… ;-)
Happy Birthday to you!
-Aman
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happy birthday. a third would be a great present.
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Happy Birthday Ben!
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what a great post!
Happy Birthday, Ben!! :)
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You are crazy.
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Happy Birthday! 33 is great… 35 is better. The whole thirties is awesome to me.
Another baby? Hmmmm.
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Happy birthday Ben. I hope it’s a great one.
It’s taken me forever to finish this comment. Sheesh today is crazy already. I hope you get your birthday wish. :)
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Maybe by your next birthday, you’ll get your wish!!! OMG You said that out loud! In 10 years from now…your roles will be reversed. You’ll be begging them..”Play with me? C’mon guys, how about a movie? Anyone?”
That was a great post B, thanks for sharing. I hope your 33rd year is magnificent.
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Dude,
First, I’m a recent convert to BSG, and I’m soo hooked.
Second – You are such an amazing dad. You remind me so much of my husband when you talk about your kids. I can feel the love you have for them with each post. Another baby would be lucky to call you daddy.
Happy Birthday!!
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Happy Birthday! You had a thing for Caprica 6 early on, didn’t you?
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BEWARE.
My third was a third and fourth.
Hope you receive all you wish for AND MORE for your Birthday. Cuz, well, you know I love the age 33!!! (And you deserve it!)
Angel, aka TheMommyTsunami
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope you get what you want, just try lots, hee hee!
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I must admit, I had NO IDEA what you were talking in those first couple of paragraphs. Thank god, it picked up there in the middle.
I hope you get everything you want. ;)
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Oh, and happy day after! {{hugs}}
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Heya! I just found your site via a comment you left for mamaspohr. I’m about two weeks older than you (happy birthday!) and also have 2004 and 2007 babies (and 2001 and 2009 :)). So true how easy we had it when they were tiny. With everything my kids have done, my husband and I have looked at each other and said, “Wow. If only we’d have known how easy we had it *then*…” The “then” keeps advancing, and we keep thinking it’ll get easier, but it never does. Being a parent feels like being pecked to death by chickens, but it’s a good pecking to death.
For what it’s worth, having a third baby was one of the best things we’ve done. We thought we might be done after two, but I’m so glad we decided to have another. I’m not sure why, but he brought us all even closer together and just became the light of everyone’s lives (including his brother and sister). We just had our fourth (and final) little one a month ago. His pecking involves sleeping on my chest as I type this at 4 am. :)
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I just came across this entry when I subscribed to your blog feed. Just wanted to say:
1) Happy very, very belated birthday.
2) You’re a geek after my own heart.
3) I hope you get your Third, but that none of your kids turn out to be secret world players who skin squirrels. ;)
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