On Saturday Liz and I took the kids to San Francisco where we participated in the March of Dimes walk at Fort Mason. We were walking to honor Heather and Mike Spohr as well as the memory of their recently passed daughter, Maddie. The walk was a wonderful experience and we all had a wonderful time. Well, almost everyone.
Caroline is sprouting her canines, was missing a nap, and extremely overstimulated by all of the people, noise and excitement. As a result she spent the entire walk oscillating between extreme happiness and inconsolable crying. By the time the walk and following festivities were over, she was a tired and crabby little Bug.
As I put Caroline into her car seat she made a grab for Thomas’ special blanket. Both Thomas and Caroline have special “blankies” which are identical with the exception of color and age. Like everything else that is his, Caroline covets Thomas’ blanket. Under usual circumstances I like to prevent this sort of co-opting for various reasons, not the least of which is that it reduces conflict. But considering the day Caroline was having up to that point, I ignored it and let her snuggle with Golden Boy’s blankie.
I then moved around to other side of the car and buckled in Thomas as Liz loaded the stroller into the back. Thomas, of course, immediately saw Caroline molesting his blanket.
“Hey!” he shouted.
I was prepared to meet the loud and indignant complaints with a strong show of parental authority, but before doing so I made a simple request, “bud, Bug has a had tough time and she really wants to snuggle with your blankie. Do you think you could let her do it just this once? You can borrow her blankie while she has yours.”
Thomas took Caroline’s blanket into his hand and let it hang down to the floor of the car and looked into his lap. I finished buckling him in. It took me a moment to realize that rather than the angry fit I had expected, Thomas was on the verge of tears.
Aw, crap. Ok, it is his blanket after all. And I am allowing something that is usually not allowed. Plus the Bug is already cranky, I don’t need to upset the other one with crazy inconsistent parental behavior.
So, “hey bud, if it’s going to bother you that much you can have your blankie, you don’t have to let her have it. We’ll find another way to make her happy.”
“N-no,” Thomas whimpered. “Sh-sh-she can have it.”
And there it was, out of nowhere, another genuine Golden Boy moment. Luckily Liz came swooping in just at that moment offering Caroline a trade she could not turn down. So Thomas got his blankie back and Caroline has a new hero.
